In the dark, deep waters of shame. That’s where I was several years ago before I began my SOULWELL journey. From the outside, you might not have known that’s where I was. I was a pretty good faker - I had my mask firmly in place so you wouldn’t know my struggles or my past mistakes. I did a good job, I thought, of keeping those things hidden and kept pushing forward. Stuff the hard feelings down. I’ll deal with that later, I thought. But when you have things you don’t deal with they don’t go away and instead they leave muck and gunk in your soul. Oftentimes, it splashes out on people when you don’t intend it to. Little annoyances became major frustrations and led to unintentional outbursts. I was unhappy, joyless, and full of regret from past mistakes. I needed cleansing in my soul.
Friends of mine had told me about the SOULWELL journey. I had seen a change in their lives and was curious. I wanted that change in my life too. I took a risk and joined the journey in 2020. It was the scariest yet most rewarding spiritual journey I have ever been on. Through my journey, I was able to look at my story and finally feel the hurt and shame so I could heal from the memories that had caused me so much pain. Jesus brought out of the deep waters of my shame and brought into a spacious place of freedom.
He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. Psalm 18:16-19
Maybe you are like me. You have memories from your past that bring you shame. Maybe you stuff the hard things down to deal with later and keep moving forward. Maybe you too are unhappy, joyless, and full of regret from your past mistakes. Jesus doesn’t want you to stay there. He wants to pull you out of the deep waters and bring you into spacious places because he delights in you too.